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Caregiving

Supernova

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2021, UK, 95 min.

Married couple Sam (Colin Firth) and Tusker (Stanley Tucci) take their camper through the English countryside, a pleasant distraction from the latter’s dementia diagnosis. There’s gentle bickering, visits with friends and bucolic beauty to spare. But the signs of Tusker’s decline—the inability to put on a shirt, the wandering—are impossible to ignore and cannot erase a building conflict. Tusker, a writer, knows his fate and sees no point in prolonging the inevitable; Sam wants to play the role of doting spouse, to see their relationship end at death do us part. Writer-director Harry Macqueen prefers compassion over morality in exploring the spousal caretaker-patient relationship. If a person facing a terminal illness chooses to end their life, should a loved one honor that wish or fight for more time? Sam and Tusker’s exploration of that question is poignant and even-handed, the kind of development people have every day. Viewers will be riveted by this mature love story and reminded how listening and honesty enrich every worthy relationship.

 

Elizabeth Is Missing

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2019, United Kingdom, 87 min. 

Due to the onslaught of Alzheimer’s disease, Maud’s life consists of notes—reminders affixed to items around the house and stuffed into her pockets. It’s a life of frustration and stasis, punctuated by outings with her friend, Elizabeth (Maggie Steed), who resides nearby. When Elizabeth doesn’t show up for their get-together, Maud (Glenda Jackson) is annoyed. The time and place are on a scrap of paper, so where is she? As the days mount without any explanation of Elizabeth’s sudden disappearance, Maud grows obsessed, then frantic as the hazy details of her friend’s predicament overlap with an unresolved tragedy from long ago. This isn’t a mystery as much as it is a stirring portrait of an older woman’s struggle to be heard as she gets pulled between the past and the present. Elizabeth Is Missing provides a potent reminder of the agony faced by those afflicted with dementia, the patience required by their loved ones and the lack of a convenient resolution all around. Jackson, as usual, is terrific. Based on Emma Healey’s novel. 

  

The Father

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2020, UK-France, 97 min.

Anthony (Anthony Hopkins) endures dementia while living with his adult daughter, Anne (Olivia Colman), in a palatial London apartment. The combative Anthony refuses all care, while Anne shoulders the burden. Director/co-writer Florian Zeller’s brilliant drama (adapted from his play) abandons any straightforward narrative impulses. Anthony’s reality changes daily. People don’t look the same. People appear, then vanish. The apartment looks slightly different day by day, even moment to moment. Is Anthony grappling with his declining cognitive abilities or is Anne the one struggling to cope? The result is an unforgettable and poetically powerful look at how dementia not only devastates the afflicted but the people forced to become caretakers. Nominated for six Academy Awards, the film was the winner of two—including for Hopkins, who at 83 became the oldest winner in a competitive acting category.

The Life Ahead

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2020, Italy, 94 min. 

Orphaned 12-year-old Momo (Ibrahima Gueye) dabbles in petty crime in a seaside Italian village, heading nowhere fast. When the boy’s temporary caretaker asks his neighbor, Madame Rosa (Sophia Loren), to take the charismatic, scheming Momo in for two months, Rosa reluctantly agrees. The Holocaust survivor and former streetwalker is the neighborhood’s mom. Her health is failing but her feistiness persists. As Rosa and others in her circle show the kid genuine affection, he reconsiders his path. The film is as predictable as the sunrise, but it’s easy to succumb to the bittersweet tone and the winning performances. Gueye is a revelation and the legendary Loren scores in her first film role in 11 years. The Life Ahead shows the influence older adults can have on youth without resorting to saccharine antics or fist-pounding life lessons. If the movie sounds familiar, there’s a reason. It’s based on the French novel, La Vie Devant Soi, and was adapted for the screen twice before—including as the 1978 Oscar winner, Madame Rosa. 

 

And So It Goes

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2014, USA, 94 min.  

In a quaint, coastal New England town, Oren Little (Michael Douglas) is its biggest irritant. He’s rude to dogs, kids, pregnant ladies—pretty much anyone with the temerity to smile at him. Long widowed, Oren is eager to sell his family home and escape his past, until his troubled, adult son (Austin Lysy) drops off his nine-year-old daughter (Sterling Jerins) before heading to prison. Oren wrangles his singer neighbor, Leah (Diane Keaton), to help watch the granddaughter he’s never met, a situation that draws the pair closer to their adorable, unintentional charge—and to each other. Rob Reiner’s comedy-drama has issues beyond Reiner’s character’s hideous toupee. Douglas and Keaton make a nice pair, but the screenplay gives them little sparkling repartee and the plot features absolutely no surprises. The film’s biggest value is as a palate cleanser. Reiner gently urges us to look for happiness at home and shows that embracing forgiveness can open our hearts to unexpected happiness.

What They Had

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2018, USA, 101 min.

After her senile mother wanders off in the dead of night, Bridget (Hilary Swank) rushes to her hometown of Chicago to help. Mom (Blythe Danner) returns unscathed, but chaos reigns. Bridget’s orderly, duty-bound father (Robert Forster) refuses to place his wife in a care facility even as her condition worsens. Bridget’s brother, Nicholas (Michael Shannon), has grown resentful over steering his in-denial parents toward stability while his own life crumbles. And being home forces Bridget to face her own unhappiness with her present—and the past she has tried to outrun for decades. Director-writer Elizabeth Chomko shows how tenaciously we hold on to our familial roles, even when they hurt the ones we love—and the joy that can arrive when we let go. The performances are excellent in this poignant and honest family drama that treats all of its characters with compassion and depth. 

 

Youth in Oregon

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2016, USA, 105 min.

Retired physician Raymond (Frank Langella) has had enough. He’s tired of burdening his family. He’s tired of having old age chip away at his virility. And he can’t stomach the idea of another heart surgery that will barely hold off encroaching death. So, at his 80th birthday celebration, Raymond makes an announcement: he’s traveling to Oregon the next day to be euthanized. In the hope of buying time, Raymond’s harried son-in-law (Billy Crudup) agrees to drive Raymond and his boozy wife (Mary Kay Place) the 3,000 miles to his eventual resting place. What begins as an indulgence grows increasingly serious as more family members get recruited in a cross-country salvation mission. Though the tone wobbles, Langella’s sturdy, humane performance remains a balm, as does the movie’s message: no matter what stage of life you’re muddling through, fixing the present is necessary to embrace the future you desire. 

 

The Leisure Seeker

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2017, Italy/France, 112 min.

To the shock and consternation of their family and friends, Ella and John Spencer (Helen Mirren, Donald Sutherland) unexpectedly leave town in the Leisure Seeker, their ancient, long-retired RV. Officially, the trip from Massachusetts to Ernest Hemingway’s house in Key West is so John can visit his literary idol’s home before his faculties fade away. As the bickering couple steer through campsites and diners, the depth of their relationship emerges, as does Ella’s reason for taking a seemingly impromptu trip. The movie is a striking, bittersweet ode to living life on your own terms—even if conventional wisdom begs you to stick close to home. Sutherland and Mirren, as you would expect, are outstanding, portraying the sweet highs and combative lows of a couple who can’t stand each other but can’t bear to be apart. Even better, their portrayals serve as an endorsement for marriage and for living the golden years with unabashed dignity. Ella and John’s final chapter takes place on America’s open roads, not in the sterile orderliness of a nursing home, and that gives the movie inspirational heft. 

Still Alice

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2014, USA, 101 min.

Still Alice tracks a family’s changing dynamics after a life-shattering diagnosis and serves as a showcase for Julianne Moore, whose beautiful, freshly Oscar-winning work allows us to see her family’s struggles as part of the title character’s long, losing battle with herself. The movie proceeds at an uncomfortably languid pace until the end, when we’re shaken. Read more…

Pauline and Paulette

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2001, Belgium (subtitled), 78 min.

The relationship among four elderly sisters is portrayed in this film featuring two of Belgium’s greatest actresses. Pauline (Dora van der Groen), 66 years old and severely mentally challenged, is cared for by her sister Martha. When Martha dies suddenly, her two younger sisters, Paulette (Ann Petersen) and Cecile, must decide who will care for Pauline. According to Martha’s will, her fortune will be divided in three equal parts only if one of the sisters looks after Pauline. If they decide to institutionalize her, Pauline will be the only heir. Bickering and upheaval ensue when Cecile and Paulette reluctantly rearrange their lives. You will want to notice how life amidst family caretaking obligations confronts popular beliefs about older women and the mentally challenged.

Passion Fish

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1992, USA, 134 min.

Directed by John Sayles, this is a film about second chances. It depicts a complex caretaker-patient relationship. May-Alice Culhane (Mary McDonnell) is a willful, bitter, soap-opera star whose career is abruptly cut short by an automobile accident, resulting in her paralysis from the waist down. Forced to reestablish herself in her Louisiana childhood home, May-Alice drinks heavily and angrily discharges several caretakers until she meets Chantelle (Alfre Woodard), whose stubbornness matches her own. Chantelle’s no-nonsense approach to her caretaking duties forces May-Alice to confront her limitations and go on with life. It forces them both to forge a new relationship despite their seeming incompatibility.

I Never Sang for My Father

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1970, USA, 92 min.

In a film based on a 1962 original screenplay entitled The Tiger, written by Robert Anderson, director Gilbert Cates presents a story of conflict between a father and son and the love and obligations that bind them. A widowed college professor just entering his middle years, Gene (Gene Hackman) is struggling to connect with his hard-to-please father (Melvyn Douglas). When his mother dies, Gene must choose between getting married again and relocating to the West Coast or moving into his father’s home on the East Coast to care for him and perhaps finally win his father’s love and approval. This film will enlighten you about parental relationships and the unexpected challenges of midlife.

The Road to Galveston

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1996, USA, 93 min.

Based on a true story, this made-for-TV film portrays 65-year-old Jordan Roosevelt (Cicely Tyson), alone, destitute and depressed following the death of her husband. Determined to save her home from foreclosure and live on her own, Jordan defies the wishes of her adult son and embarks on a new career as a caregiver for Alzheimer’s patients. Her home becomes a residence for three patients in various stages of the disease. Despite the demands she faces as a caregiver and the challenges of living with limited financial resources, Jordan perseveres. Her home-care clients also thrive, as best they can, forming friendships with one another that transform them as they struggle to maintain some semblance of control over their lives.

Since Otar Left

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2004, France (subtitled), 103 min.

Julie Bertucelli directs this film about three strong-willed women—mother, daughter and granddaughter—living together in Tbilisi, capital of the former Soviet republic of Georgia. Eka, the family matriarch, portrayed by 90-year-old actress Esther Gorintin, lives for her son, Otar, a physician who has become a construction worker in Paris. Her middle-aged daughter, Marina, remains a single woman struggling with the disappointments of her life. She is forced to compete with Otar for their mother’s approval. Eka’s rebellious granddaughter, Ada, seeks to break away from the family and embark on her own life. When the two younger women learn that Otar has been killed accidentally, they see chances for their own freedom but decide to conceal this news from Eka, knowing she would be heart broken. As family affections evolve into deception and duplicity, they set in motion events that will change the course of each woman’s life.

The Wedding Gift

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1994, UK, 87 min.

A BBC original, The Wedding Gift is based on a true story about a woman faced with a terminal illness that defies medical diagnosis. Diana (Julie Walters) and Deric (Jim Broadbent), her devoted husband, have an ideal marriage: they thrive in each other’s company, they’re funny, and they enjoy their two grown children and Deric’s dotty mother. Deric has taken on the round-the-clock responsibilities of caring for Diana, resulting in the near-collapse of his lingerie business. As Diana’s condition worsens, she decides to plan her husband’s future and convinces Deric, an aspiring writer, to attend a writer’s convention. There he meets Aileen Armitage, a blind novelist to whom he is attracted. Deric’s future is set in motion. You will want to note the role of humor in this film and the ways in which characters deal with physical decline, caretaking and the end of life.

Harry and Tonto

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1974, USA, 115 min.

Art Carney stars as Harry in this comedy/drama about a retired teacher, septuagenarian and widower who is forced to leave his home in New York City to make way for a parking garage. Harry decides to look for a better life. First, he goes to live with his son, Burt, and his family but soon discovers that adding another member to that household is easier said than done. Harry and his beloved cat, Tonto, are off on a cross-country journey to discover their new niche in life. As they make their way west to visit Harry’s daughter (Ellen Burstyn) and son (Larry Hagman), they meet an assortment of characters including a young hitchhiker, a hooker and Chief Dan George. Each new character becomes a part of Harry’s life, placing a special emphasis on intergenerational friendships and on the wisdom of life experience.

Nebraska

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2013, USA, 115 min.

Ornery Woody Grant (Bruce Dern) is reaching the end of his life with little to show for it, save for encroaching senility and bruised feelings from his family. That’s why he keeps trying to walk from Billings, MT, to Lincoln, NE, to claim a million-dollar sweepstakes prize. It’s a scam, but Woody’s son, David (Will Forte), indulges him. He drives Woody to Lincoln, stopping en route for a family reunion in his father’s downtrodden hometown. The news of Woody’s future “fortune” travels too quickly for David to quash, though he has time to unearth the twisted roots of his father’s churlish behavior. Director Alexander Payne’s (About Schmidt, The Descendants) insightful, bracing comedy-drama profiles an old man’s last grasp for dignity, and the younger man who learns to view his father as a person rather than a burden.

One True Thing

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1998, USA, 127 min.

At the behest of her father (William Hurt), a writer whom she idolizes, young magazine journalist Ellen Gulden (Renée Zellweger) leaves New York City for the suburbs to care for her sick mother (Meryl Streep), a career homemaker she has little in common with. The months march on. The mother’s illness worsens. The father refuses to adapt to the changing dynamics. And Ellen learns that the roles she had assigned are off: Mom has a strength and grace worth emulating, while Dad’s creativity is an instrument of poisonous narcissism. Carl Franklin’s film version of Anna Quindlen’s best-selling novel is both touching and unsparing in examining how the relationship between child and parents changes over time—and not always for the better.

Robot & Frank

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2012, USA, 89 min.

In Frank Langella’s storied career, this might be one of his best performances. He plays an ex-jewel thief who initially refuses his adult son’s gift of a robot assistant (voiced by Peter Sarsgaard)—until he discovers the robot can get him back into the felonious life he so desperately misses. This touching, finely crafted drama set in the near future boasts constant delights, including this one: in a time when electronics are eliminating the human element in everyday living, the robot engages with Frank more than anyone else in his life. Getting older is a lot easier when someone is valued. People should serve that role. Robot & Frank offers this reminder in a way that is entertaining as well as honest.

The Savages

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2007, USA, 113 min.

Siblings Jon and Wendy Savage (Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney) are tasked with finding an assisted living residence for their aging, dementia-riddled father (Philip Bosco). What would be a difficult task for two functional people is arduous for Wendy and Jon. Not only do the pair have strained relationships with their father, the younger Savages are flaming narcissists who barely have control of their own lives. Writer-director Tamara Jenkins’ comedy-drama is difficult to watch, yet the film is riveting because it deals with the responsibilities and emotional agony of the caregiving process with unflinching candor. Love—especially if you can’t define the word—doesn’t conquer all. Hoffman and Linney, who received an Academy Award nomination for her work here, are outstanding.