My friend dreaded turning 60 on a recent weekend, but to her surprise, her husband and their young adult daughters threw a party with “Team Michelle” T-shirts and a lot of fanfare. She hadn’t let on that this was the Big 6-0, or I’d have tried to acknowledge it with some of our mutual friends.
Of course, it made me think of my milestone birthdays. At 21, I was celebrating with my drinking buddies in our favorite watering hole, despite having been a customer there with my fake ID for quite some time. As I turned 30, I experienced a time of deep reflection and knew I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I took stock of my life and knew I had to give up drinking (and the lifestyle that accompanied it) to fulfill my potential that people always talked about. I made new, healthier friends, started a successful small business and embraced community service meaningfully.
I met and married my husband, and at my 40th birthday party, I surprised family and friends with the news that we were expecting our first child. Shortly before my 50th birthday, I lost my husband to complications of heart disease and diabetes. I had two little girls and a mountain of medical debt. It was not the time to celebrate.
Because 50 had gone unacknowledged, I especially wanted to celebrate turning 60. My siblings feted me with a Brazilian steakhouse dinner, which was a dream come true for this carnivore. I started thinking about turning 65 and considered throwing myself a party with friends and family that birthday, but when the time came, life got in the way, and it didn’t happen.
I’ll turn 70 in a couple of years. As in previous milestone years, I’ll no doubt take stock and reassess and reinvent if need be. My children were my whole raison d’etre, and I wouldn’t change that, but now they have successfully fledged, with lives of their own, and my days are somehow still full and rewarding. I feel fortunate for my excellent health, solid relationships, chances to improve myself and the opportunity to contribute to my family and community. So bring it on, 70—you don’t scare me!
Pepper Evans works as an independent-living consultant, helping older adults age in place. She is the empty-nest mother of two adult daughters and has extensive personal and professional experience as a caregiver. She has worked as a researcher and editor for authors and filmmakers. She also puts her time and resources to use in the nonprofit sector and serves on the Board of Education in Lawrence Township, NJ.
