I remember the excitement of the telephone ringing in my family home in the 1960s. The call might not be for me but for my parents or a sibling, which would be a letdown to a preteen. Phone calls were an escape for me—without a car, I was confined to my family and the neighborhood kids for companionship. A long phone conversation was a luxury.
I remember the strict time limits applied for my calls, so anyone trying to reach my mother could get through. (No call-waiting.) We had a primary phone in the kitchen, one in my parents’ bedroom and an extension downstairs; until the touch tone came out, we dialed. I preferred the extension, so I could stretch the curly cord into the laundry room for privacy. It would get so tangled. More than once, it came out of the phone’s base.
Before too long, my parents sprang for a “teen phone” with a separate phone number. Gone were the days of the please-get-off-the-phone dance and pantomime, when Mom was holding up the line, organizing her bridge group, one friend at a time. The big phone book would come every year. I knew my friends’ phone numbers by heart, and curiously, I still remember many of them.
Fast-forward to today, when I don’t answer my phone. Yes, I pay for cell service for my iPhone, but if it rings, I don’t answer it. It’s mostly spam; I can count on my true friends and colleagues to text before calling to see if it’s a convenient time to connect. I don’t enjoy talking on the phone as much as digital communication. I schedule calls with my daughters for when they can put me on speakerphone in their cars, and I sit with a large cup of tea.
Unscheduled phone calls are disruptive. They demand immediate attention and can interrupt other activities or conversations, whereas messages can be managed more discreetly and at the recipient’s convenience. Texting (preferred) or emailing allows you to focus on the message and be less likely to say something untrue or that you’ll regret.
Phone calls are more time consuming than sending a quick text message or email. Their efficiency drives me toward communication methods that are more efficient within my daily routines. I don’t listen to or leave voicemail messages either. I’ll know you called if we have shared our numbers in Contacts.
So don’t call me, I’ll call you—but I’ll text first.
Pepper Evans works as an independent-living consultant, helping older adults age in place. She is the empty-nest mother of two adult daughters and has extensive personal and professional experience as a caregiver. She has worked as a researcher and editor for authors and filmmakers. She also puts her time and resources to use in the nonprofit sector and serves on the Board of Education in Lawrence Township, NJ.
