If you had asked my 96-year-old grandfather, “What is the key to successful aging?” he would probably have said, “Yodels and beer.” He was never one to pass up a chocolatey dessert, and he loved a cold lager.
The term “successful aging” was first popularized by American academic physician John Rowe, MD, and psychologist Robert Louis Kahn, PhD, in 1998. You’re aging successfully, they said, if 1) you’ve avoided illness and disability, 2) you’re in good shape physically and mentally, and 3) you’re living an active life.
This concept challenged academics to think critically about the quality of later life and what may lead to aging well, but Rowe and Kahn’s research on successful aging came under fire for several reasons: the idea that living successfully means living without disability is explicitly ableist; setting a standard of success for older people is ageist; and it completely ignores individual preferences. For example, someone who is naturally introverted and has always preferred to spend time alone might not benefit from prioritizing an active social life.
Outside the field of gerontology, successful aging has become click-bait to attract attention to particular web pages or business products. A quick Google search that asks “What is the key to successful aging?” produces no less than 15 different answers. To succeed at aging, they suggest everything from making healthy food choices to botox, from having a healthy brain to volunteerism or financial security.
It’s clear that none of these websites asked my grandfather what he thought.
The image of my grandfather that I conjure in my memory is of a man in his 80’s with aviator-style eyeglasses and a camera around his neck. I did not realize the true extent of his photography until I was helping to prepare picture boards to be displayed at his funeral in 2015. Why was it so hard to find any pictures of my grandfather? There were hundreds of photographs of my cousins and I, my aunts and uncles, my grandmother. It almost felt like my grandfather wasn’t there at all.
Until I realized it was just the opposite. All these pictures expressed his point of view. They were a beautiful collage of what was most important to him: his family, eating a big meal and leisure. This photo story my grandfather left for us was a glimpse of how he viewed success in his older adulthood, and I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between the themes I saw represented and our Greek-American culture.
Something else Rowe and Kahn missed in their original discussion of successful aging was that aging is bound up in one’s cultural context. You cannot ask what it means to age successfully without asking what it means to age successfully as a Chinese woman, an Afro-Caribbean man—or a Greek man living in the United States.
A study published in 2022 found that to Indigenous people, aging well was a holistic concept that included experiencing spiritual, physical and mental well-being. Some faced barriers to this because they’d been disconnected from their culture and lost their language and customs, or because of ongoing grief and trauma.
For many Puerto Rican older adults, embracing a feeling of gratitude about their lives was a prerequisite to aging successfully. Japanese American men put a high value on financial security.
As for Greek Americans, of all European countries, Greece and Turkey have the lowest age of retirement. Greeks know how to relax and relentlessly protect their right to do so in later life.
My grandfather’s stubborn Greek nature made him rebellious in the face of rules. One day towards the end of his life, he decided to elope from the nursing care center where he lived. (When a patient leaves without telling anyone, nursing homes and other long-term care units typically say that person has “eloped.”)
He was scheduled to join an activity in the recreation room. When staff realized he was not there or anywhere else on the floor, they began to worry. They searched every inch of the nursing home to no avail. Next, they searched the grounds. They finally found him—sunning himself in the courtyard.
According to the New York State Department of Health Regulations, when a resident is involved in an incident, they must be given a written copy of their version of the occurrence. His read:
Resident stated, “I went outside because it was nice out and I cheated.
He broke the rules just to relax in the sun.
I do not remember my grandfather as a man who was exceptionally active or physically fit. I do remember his commitment to his family. My cousins and I would sleep over at my grandparents’ apartment, snuggled into a pull-out couch next to the television. All six of us would wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. My grandfather was a cook in World War II and took his role at the stove seriously.
I also remember the joy he emanated when the family was all together at a barbeque, but most of all, I remember the way he loved my grandmother through every stage of Alzheimer’s disease
When I think about what it means to age successfully, I don’t think about research studies or click-bait websites. I think of my Greek grandfather, and of family, food and relaxation. He had all of these, and I know he felt fulfilled.
Anastasia Canell has a PhD in clinical geropsychology, a specialty that focuses on understanding and helping older people and their families. As a postdoctoral fellow, she works in hospitals, skilled nursing facilities and elsewhere, providing psychotherapy for individuals and groups. She also does research and has written and spoken extensively about issues associated with aging, such as the way becoming an older person’s caregiver impacts young adults (18 to 25).
